Mi Vida Loca
by Roseprincess1
Summary: 8th in the "Angel" series. Alyssa takes Wheeljack to see her Real Father's family in Texas. As usual the trip turns out to be anything but peaceful.
1. Default Chapter

Mi Vida Loca

I'm not sure how I got talked into this but she stood there and begged me and pleaded with me and I finally gave in. So here I was, driving down the interstate with two kayaks strapped to my roof. A blue one and a pink one, each one belonging to one of the girls, Alyssa thrilled about the prospect. Angel? Well she was less than happy about it and I could still tell, she was behind us sitting in Optimus' cab sulking.

"Is she going to do that all the way down to Texas?" I asked Alyssa.

"What can I say Jack, she's not an out doors type person." She told me back.

"Well that shocks me, I mean aren't most people who are that wild over guns and things the kind that LIKE to camp out?"

She laughed and shook her head, "Don't ask me."

She seemed to be enjoying her friends squirming immensely but I couldn't understand why. In fact I was having a hard time understanding this whole thing that had Miss. Angel so ticked off.

"So what is it that you want her to do with you again?" I asked

Alyssa leaned back in the driver's seat and grinned, "Kayaking."

"Oh… Uh Alyssa, that doesn't help." If I could have shrugged I would have, "What exactly is Kayaking, and you'd better tell me it has something to do with these things you have taped to my roof."

"Those are the kayaks." She grinned enthusiastically.

"That still doesn't help." I muttered.

"Boat's Jack," She grinned even more.

"Those things are boats?"

"Yep," She relaxed some more, "And were going down the river in them."

"Oh," I still didn't get it but I changed the subject, "So let me ask you something else?"  
"Fire away."

"Why are you so thrilled about all of this? When we first met I got the impression that the last thing you wanted to do was to introduce me to more of your human family."

She sat up and thought for a second, "Well babe I have to honest, I did think that."

"So what changed?" I prompted.

"Well, I saw the way that you handed Mom and Chris, and I guess if you can keep those two at bay and come out in one piece, then the fruit cakes that are down here in Texas shouldn't be any problem for you at all."

That had me worried. While I was flattered that she trusted me to be have with her Father's family. Describing them to me as "fruit cakes" wasn't doing a whole lot to put faith in me that they were going to be as charming an accepting as she was convinced they would. I have to be honest that I was still just plain old mad at her Mom and Step dad for the way that they had treated all of us at the ark. I'm normally not the type that gets bitter, and according to every one around me I have the most unflappable sense of optimism that any one has ever seen. I was though, turning into a complete and utter cynic where my girl's family was concerned.

"Well if you think that they will be okay with it then I have to take your word for it, but…" I sighed.

"But you still think they will pull what My Mom and Chris did huh?"

I would have nodded if I could, but she understood my silence and let it drop for the moment. That's when I turned my sensors back and noticed that Angel and Optimus weren't with us any longer. In fact about two miles back I could see him pulled over on the side of the road, with some one standing there chewing them out. The blue and red flashing lights told me just who the some one was and I knew I had to go back.

Alyssa noticed it about the same time as me and twisted around to get a better look at them as well. "Well! What has that girl gotten her self into NOW?"

So I turned around and headed back to see what they were up to. What it turned out to be was some over zealous cop had pulled Optimus over and was harassing Angel up one side and back down the other. Demanding that she produce her weight sheets and log books for her rig. She was doing her best to try and explain the situation to the guy but he wasn't really listening much, as in at all. He was shouting in her face and demanding that she produce them.

We got back down to where she was just as she leaned out the window.

"Look Sir, I'm telling you that I don't have any of those things. This isn't an ordinary rig."

"Missy!" The cop told her, "I don't care if you're hauling Jell-O packs or running guns. You produce those papers right now or I'm hauling your pretty little ass over to the weigh station!"  
"But it's not a rig! IF you just let me explain!"

"SHUT IT!" The cop snarled back.

We pulled up beside them and looked out.

"Something we can help you with officer?" Alyssa asked.

"Your dammed right you can help me with something." He looked down his nose at her, "If you're the chase car kid then you can get in gear and follow me to the weigh station as well. Something funny is going on around her and I DEMAND to know what it is."  
"If you'd just let me…" Angel tried again.

"I thought I told you to shut it!" He snapped and then turned back to my self and Alyssa. "Now both of you women follow me. The next station is a half a mile down the road. I'm going to personally check this thing and then take a look at what you have in the back. THEN I'll decide weather or not to arrest you."

He walked back and got on his motor bike put it in gear and headed out on to the road. He stopped and waited until Prime was in gear and following him and then took off.

"What was that about?" Angel demanded the moment the cop pulled off.

"What?" Prime asked, "Can't I have a little fun every now and then?"

"Fun?" I heard Alyssa ask over the com, "How do you define this as fun?"

I laughed my self, "Just wait till we get up here at the station, then you'll see what he means."

"Do you mind telling me if you've done this before?" Angel asked.

"As a matter of fact I have." He told her, "Though it's usually some one besides you that gets stuck playing my driver."

"Oh." She thought about that for a few seconds.

Back with me Alyssa was bent over and cracking up. Having one of the best laughs that I think she had done in a very long time.

"So you mean to tell me he's going to do what I think he's going to do?"

"Yes," I told her, "This makes about the tenth time he's pulled this one. You'd think by now the word would have gotten out to the various highway patrols."

She snickered, "Well that is funny, and it's just …"

"What?" I asked back.

"Well Angel's not too fond of police. She got pulled over and harassed by one when she was sick."

"Oh? What'd they do?"

"Well she was driving home and her nose started bleeding, they tried to say she had some kinda drugs in the car. She didn't take it well."

"Well I think she will enjoy this then." I grinned at her.

"She probably will. I can't think of any one that wouldn't enjoy this."

"Except maybe the highway patrol," I finished.

"Well lets hurry up and get there," Alyssa laughed, "This is going to be good."


	2. Mi Vida Loca: Part 2

Mi Vida Loca: Part 2

I pulled up to the weigh station with Alyssa not long after Optimus and Angel had gotten them selves dragged over there. The cop that had been harassing them was no where to be seen for the moment and so Angel had gotten down and gone in search of a snack bar. I pulled up beside Prime and we all waited.

"I think she's just a little bit angry," He told me.

"Optimus," Alyssa leaned out of my window and smirked, "That is probably the understatement of a life time. Angel hates cops."

"She mentioned," he told her back dryly. "That woman has the most atrocious luck when it comes to things of that type."

"No kidding," I muttered having seen some of Angel's demonstrations in luck first hand.

What I didn't know, actually wasn't paying attention to really, was that we were about to get another example of her ability to attract chaos. She was coming back around the corner from the snack bar with her drink in one hand and her snack in the other when someone started making cat calls at her from the Semi that was in front of Prime.

"Hey baby, what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?" Someone called.

She stopped and glared at the cab of the black and gray semi for a few seconds and then started walking again. Doing her level best to ignore who ever was messing with her.

"What's the matter beautiful? Not good enough for you?" The person called again.

This time it got her attention. She snapped around and glared again.

"Do I KNOW YOU?" she demanded.

"No baby but I know you, and if you interested in us I can show you a real time. Not like that old codger you're with now."

Her eyes got wide for a second and then she tossed her soda at the window of the thing.

"NOT IF YOU WERE THE LAST ONE IN THE UNIVERSE!" She shouted.

"OH? What you little tart? You think he's better than me?" The person she was talking to snapped back.

"You're not even in our league! Your league could implode and I wouldn't hear the boom for three weeks!"

"What is she DOING?" Alyssa asked as she looked out to get a good view of her friend.

She answered her own question as she told me, "She's yelling at the guy in the truck in front of us, He musta hit on her or something."

If I could have I would have rolled my optics, "Now who on this planet would be stupid enough to hit on her? Its not like who she's with hasn't been plastered all over everywhere."

"Don't ask me?" Alyssa shrugged back. Then leaned got out to get a better look. "It's just some Yo yo with tinted windows on his cab."  
"Tinted windows?" This time it was Prime that asked her a question.

"Yah Purple looks like from here."

Now it was Optimus' turn to over react. Which is just what he did, promptly transforming and storming around to where Angel was about to have an aneurysm at the person in the other truck. I transformed my self and moved to get a better look at them and that's when it hit me that this wasn't just a truck.

"OH SLAG!" I got out.

"What!" Alyssa looked up at me in alarm.

"That's Motormaster!" I almost swallowed my own vocal processor.

She blinked at me and that told me that neither of the girls had any idea who that was or what kind of trouble this could develop into if we weren't careful.

"He's one of the Decepticons, a Stunticon specifically."

"They come in cars?" She gapped, "I thought most of them were planes and things?"  
"Most of them are. These guys were made as cars specifically."

"And lemme guess," She swallowed her self, "This charmer has a big rivalry with Optimus because they're both trucks?"

"How'd you guess?" I started forward just as the yelling from in front of us started up again.

"BACK OFF OLD MAN! I have a right to look at any one I like!" Motormaster yelled, changing into his own robot mode as we all watched. "I will say one thing for you thought Prime." He looked down and positively leered at Angel, "You got some dammed good taste."

"I have no intention of letting you talk about my Lifemate in such a manner Stunticon." Optimus nearly snarled back, "So you have two choices punk. Apologize to her and leave."

"OR what Prime?" The gray semi shot back.

"OR I kick your skid plate from here all the way back to Cybertron for showing _MY_ Angel such disrespect!"  
"Hehe… gotta protect your lil human femme huh Prime?" he leered again, "Ya know, it might be fun to snatch her and see what you'd do Old man."

That's when the Stunticon heard the click and then looked down to see Angel's snacks on the ground and her with her gun out glaring at him.

"GET away from him," She ordered, "Or I'm going to do the same thing to your face that I did to Megatron's and Lazerbeak's."

That comment made him stop for a second and think. I will never understand for the life of me why people out there keep assuming that Angel and Alyssa are the type of women that can't take care of them selves. Neither of them have ever shown to be the timid dependant types. On more than one occasion they have gone and caused more damage than half of the Autobot army. Still people like this punk were under the impression that the girls were acting. True or not, act or not both of them were more than willing to put the people that annoyed them into their places.

So now it was Motormaster's turn to get the treatment. Still either he really was that stupid or he didn't believe the stories that he'd probably heard about these girls so he just kept on pushing his luck.

"You expect me to believe that you're the one that shot Megatron's optics out? With that lil' peashooter? Who are you trying to kid girl?"

With that he took two steps closer to her and reached out to put his hand around Angel. This resulted in several things happening that most people at the weigh station would have ever believed they'd get to see that day. First off Angel did give his face the same treatment that she had given several others. That left him howling for dear life, with one hand clapped over his left optic. Then true to his word, Optimus moved in and a few seconds later the Stunticon went flying back across the pavement a look of complete and utter shock on his face.

"Do you think we should help them?" Alyssa asked me.

I shook my head, "Nope. First off he asked for it and secondly they seem to be enjoying working together so why should we spoil their fun?"

"Good point," she nodded, "Too bad we don't have any one to play with."  
"Hehe," I had to laugh, "You awful. Sides, orange day glow would clash with his colors."

She blinked at me and then grinned, "How'd you know I packed the water balloon factory."

I shrugged, "I put you up to it remember?"  
At just that second the official who had hauled Optimus in to the weigh station came back around the corner with his superior in tow. He opened his mouth to say some thing and then got a good look at what was going on. His superior took one look and broke out laughing.

"Told ya."


	3. Mi Vida Loca: Part 3

Mi Vida Loca: Part 3

Optimus and Angel had to call in Prowl and some of Autobot security to come in and get what was left of Motormaster. While the two of them spent time talking to every one and telling them what was to be done with the wayward leader of the Stunticons, Alyssa and I hung around and listened to what the first cop's superior had to tell him about the whole incident.

"BUT SIR…" he tried.

The older officer laughed at him, "Look kid, personally I think you're a moron. Every highway patrol man all up and down ever interstate in this nation knows who that semi is. Every one except a rookie like you it seems."  
"But!" The younger one kept on.

"So you go and pull him and his Human lady over. You're lucky that they didn't wind up giving you the treatment. I got that when I pulled him over a few years ago."

"Treatment sir?"

The older one smiled again, "Wait till you made him get up on the scale and then transform. Throws the scale all out of whack, throws it out of whack and the state government makes you pay for having it fixed."

I had to laugh as I watched the rookie cop realize that he had just missed having about a year's pay docked from his check by about a hair's breath. I kept watching them for a few seconds longer and then turned back to where Optimus and Angel were finally finishing up.

"So that's it then?" She asked him.

"That's it as far as I'm concerned for now." He nodded, "Though if some kind of exchange for him can be arranged with the Decepticons, the two of us might have to go back to the ark a few days early."

"I think I could probably live with that." She nodded.

"I HEARD THAT!" Alyssa yelled from where she was beside me.

I looked down at her, "Mind telling me what that was?"

"She doesn't want to go kayaking with me." Alyssa shook her head.

I watched Angel and Optimus move over to talk to the cops for a minute and then turned back to Alyssa.

"So you haven't explained this Kayaking thing to me yet." I told her.

"I thought I told you all about it!" She looked up at me in shock.

"You told me about it but it still doesn't make any sense to me." I glanced up to see Angel now tearing into the cop with great gusto, and then had my attention drawn back to Alyssa as she started talking again.

"Well what doesn't make sense?" She blinked, "it's a sport."

"Okay lemme see here, you want to drive up a mountain with two flimsy pieces of plastic taped to my roof. So you can get in said flimsy pieces of plastic get in the water and float down the mountain. So you can hike back up the mountain carrying the aforementioned flimsy pieces of plastic. So you can strap them to my roof again and drive back down the mountain." I looked at her.

"Yah? Yer point?"

I had to stand there and stare at her for a few seconds, "and humans do this for sport?"

"Some of us do yes." She grinned enthusiastically again.

"I'm sorry baby, I just don't get it." I had to give up.

I might have been one of the most qualified engineers of the whole population of Cybertron, but for some strange reason I couldn't bring my self to grasp this one concept.

I finally gave up and shook my head at her.

"Well it's your vacation Alyssa; I'm just along for the ride here to meet your dad's family."

"Hehe… oh you're here for a whole lot more than that sweetie. Besides, I'm sure you've seen humans do things that are a lot stranger than going on a river expedition."

"There is that," I nodded.

I looked back and saw Angel walking away from the cop with a very smug look on her face and the younger of the two looking completely cowed at the thought of what he had done here and just who it was he had managed to tick off. Optimus kept on talking to the older one for a few seconds, giving the person the assurances that someone would be along to help them repair the damage that had been done and that he was sorry that the weigh station got dragged into this whole mess.

"So?" Alyssa asked, "Did ya let him have it?"  
"Well some what," She sighed, "What I would have liked to have done isn't legal."

"Now, now," Alyssa grinned at her. "You can't go around offing cops."  
"Who's said any thing about offing him?" she asked, "I was thinking of putting Jell-O in his short and having Optimus make him stand there until it melted."

Alyssa got a strange look on her face and tried really hard to not crack up.

"You weren't going to use green Jell-O were you?"  
"No as a matter of fact I was planning on using blue."

Alyssa snorted and grinned again, "That's just evil."

Finally Prime came back over and found all of us.

"The officer's say that we are free to go and they apologize for holding us up in any and all ways," He told us.

"Well it's about bloody well time," She sniffed, "What did that little twit think he was doing any how?"

"Oh don't be so hard on him;" I told Angel, "The kid was just doing his job ya know?"

"Well he can do his job some where far, FAR away from me."

"You really don't like cops do you," I asked.

"Please don't get her started," Alyssa groaned, "You get her started and she'll regale us with all of her cop horror stories."  
"OH I will not!"  
"Which will lead into the tales about her sister…" Alyssa kept going.

"HEY!" Angel put her hands on her hips.

"Which will probably prompt her to start talking about her Mom and Dad and about how they have NOOO life," Alyssa smirked.

"OKAY! We get the picture!" Angel huffed.

"Oh come on! I was just giving you a hard time Angel." She cracked up. "Don't take every thing so seriously."

"Hmmph, You try putting up with all the nut cases I have and see just what you start thinking about it?"

I looked over their heads at Prime who was hiding a smile some where under there but was still trying to make him self LOOK serious.

"Well then ladies, now that this is all over would you like to get back on the road and get in some more traveling before night hits?"

"I think the two of us could live with that." Angel nodded.

"Ditto," Alyssa agreed. "But let's find a cute lil place to spend the night."

"Yes Mam," I grinned at her.

"Awww," Angel gushed at us. "That's so cute!"

Both of us blushed but didn't deny it as we got ready to head back out and finish up what traveling we could today.


	4. Mi Vida Loca: Part 4

Mi Vida Loca: Part 4

We got to the half way point on the whole trip, and this turned out to even more interesting than the incident with the cop. See the half way point was the river that Alyssa planned on sailing down in her plastic... uh sorry kayak. We pulled up to the entrance of the park and I could tell from the goofy smile on her face this was something that she had really been wanting to do more than any thing else. Angel on the other hand, continued to sit in Prime's cab and glare at the world. She had agreed though and was at least willing to give it a try.

To wit, Angel got out of Prime and took up residence in my passenger seat. This was mainly due to the large sign that said, "No through trucks." Either way, Optimus was stuck at the bottom of the hill and I got to haul the ladies up there. I got to haul them up there and I got to listen to miss angel let her friend know what she thought of this whole thing.

"I cannot believe I let you talk me into this insanity," She sigh, "What if the stupid thing turns over on me and I drown? I don't know the move with the paddle to turn the stupid thing back over! IF I drown I'm coming back to haunt you Alyssa Rabe!"

"These are the special kind Angel," She hid a giggle behind her hand, "If it turns over all you have to do is the dog paddle and it turns its self back over okay?"

"I still don't trust the things!" Angel crossed her arms.

"Well you don't have to, and I do appreciate you going with me on this. Look at it this way, you publisher wanted you to get out more."

"My publisher thought my romance work would be better to if I got married." Angel told her.

"Oh no, what did you do Angel?" She had to ask.

"I sent him a picture of Optimus and me. Strangely he hasn't said much about the getting married thing any more."

"I can understand why, still it will be good for you to get out some. I know you're not an outdoors person…"

"That my friend is an understatement." I felt her slump back more.

"Your going to find some way to get even with me aren't you?" Alyssa giggled.

"Probably make you stay at the lodge back near home," She told her casually.

"Oh lord, is that the one where you have to hike three miles just to get to the stupid pool?"

Angel grinned and Alyssa threw her hands up.

"I wish you two could hear your selves," I told them. "I could probably sell recordings of you for money."

"You'd better not!" Angel told me.

Alyssa cracked up, "Oh come on Jack. I don't think there's any one out there that'd pay to listen to a pair of girls like us argue."

"No I'm Serious." I told them, "This is classic."  
"You just have to encourage her don't you?" Angel asked, "Then turned away and looked out the window.

"That's my job Angel, after all." I answered.

"Well," Alyssa grinned at me some more, "IF you go selling recordings of us on the net then I get half of what ever you make."  
"Hey!" I ignored this comment from Angel.

"Truthfully?" I kept going, "If that's the case you need to make Sideswipe cough up fro the pictures of your paint balloon thing he's been selling the last week."

"He has pictures of that?" Angel asked with a completely and utterly horrified look on her face.

"That and several other things," I nodded to her.

"That is going to be one DEAD red Lamborghini when I get back to the ark."

"Get in line Angel," Alyssa told her, "You and half of the rest of the population of the ark want him dead for one reason or another."

"Yah but I get first dibs!" She snarked back.

"NAH!"

"That's right, keep it going. You don't think I'll do it do you?"

Alyssa held up her hands, "Oh I know you'll do it. I just hope that you don't"

"Why pray tell?"  
"Because," I answered for Alyssa, "THEN we'd have to listen to Sunstreaker bitch at all of us and do you really want to hear that?"

Angel opened her mouth to say something more and then shut it as the implications sank in.

"Good point." She muttered.

A good fifteen minutes later we were at the top of the trail and the girls got busy unstraping the boats and getting the rest of the gear ready for the trek down. The two of them were done up in outfits that matched their respective kayaks and they both looked like something that had ran away from the wild world of sport's greatest bloopers reel. Alyssa stood in front of me and whirled around displaying her outfit.

"Well it looks great on you," I told her, "but I still don't see the point of any of this."

"That makes two of us," Angel growl, "So since your outvoted, how about I take this ridiculous get up off and stay here on dry land?"

"SISSY!"

"OKAY fine! I will do this, once. Then you had better never ask me to do this again okay?"

"THANK YOU!" Alyssa jumped up and put her arms around Angel and then proceeded to tug her in the direction of the water.

That left me there alone for a good hour or more to think about things that were going on. Which roughly translated means it that left me there for more than an hour to think about what was going to happen when I finally met Alyssa's family. She kept assuring me that it was going to be fine; I kept thinking about what her stepfather had done while he was at the ark. Still it was just a simple of matter of letting things happen how they were supposed to and keeping faith that it wouldn't be too bad.  
That was the conclusion I had come to when I realized that I could pick up on the girls coming back up the hill.

"OH COME ON ANGEL! It wasn't THAT bad." Alyssa called

Angel didn't reply but I heard a dragging sound and started wondering what was going on.

"Please don't give me that look! I didn't know they were class five!"

Again no reply from Angel but the dragging noise kept going and a few seconds later she came over the top of the hill. The noise turned out to be her dragging her kayak and looking none to happy about it. She stopped about three feet from me and dropped it then glared behind her as Alyssa came over the top of the hill doing her level best to not crack up.  
"I'm glad you think this is so funny!" Angel griped.

That's when I noticed she was soaking wet.

"I said I was sorry, I had no idea the rapids were going to be that rough. I warned you that we might get a little bit wet."

"A LITTLE BIT WET?" She turned around and glared more, dark red curls plastered to the sides of her head.

"Okay so maybe a lot wet?" Alyssa shrugged.

"That's it. _You_ can pack up the boats on your own. I'm going back down to Optimus and some dry clothes."  
With that she snapped around and headed back down the trail. Alyssa managed to contain her self until her friend was out of ear shot and then the second she was Alyssa broke down.

"That was priceless!"

"What happened," I asked.

"Let's just leave it that she didn't take to well to the rapids."  
"How come you're not wet?" I blinked.

"Heheh I did."


	5. Mi Vida Loca: Part 5

Mi Vida Loca: Part 5

Alyssa finally got the boats strapped back to my roof and we headed back down to find Optimus and Angel. I should have known that something would happen but I wasn't really prepared for the look that was on the girl's face.

"Guys," She said.

"I know that look," Alyssa replied, "What happened?"  
"We're not going to be able to go on the rest of the trip with you," Prime finished.

"Awwww!" Alyssa got out, "Why? What's the problem?"

"Something has come up and He's needed back at the Ark. I go where he goes." Angel finished.

"Is it something that you need me for?" I asked Prime. "If you do …"

"If you need us," Alyssa continued for me, "Then my Dad's family can wait."

"No," Optimus said, "I think this is something fairly simple. I just have to be the one to look into it in case its not."

"I see," I thought about it for a second, "Mind telling me what this thing that your called back to base for is?"

"They think that the space bridge might be about to materialize again, and since I'm in the area…"

"WE'RE in the area," Angel prompted.

"We're the area," he amended, "Prowl thought it would be appropriate for us to look into it."

"Are you positive that you don't need the two of us to back you up?" Alyssa asked.

"I think we should be able to handle something this simple. There shouldn't be any confrontations involved. Just go in, see if it's actually there and then leave."

"Uh huh," I chimed, "And Tell me something Optimus. Just how often dose it actually work out that way? Are you two 100 percent positive that you don't want some kind of back up?"

I watched as Angel grinned held up her hands and shook her head.

"It's your Call Optimus," She told him.

"Wheeljack, I think the two of us shouldn't have much of a problem dealing with this. We did handle Motormaster after all."

"Okay fine!" I agreed for the moment, "But if EITHER of you think that there might be any thing that you need help with you have to promise to call us immediately okay?"

Angel held up her hands, "We both promise that if any thing shows any indication that it's going to cause a problem we will."

Alyssa came up beside me and looked at them, "Now I'm not kidding you two, if you think…."

It took a few more minutes of them assuring us that the two of them would do their level best to keep out of trouble before we were finally convinced to trust the two of them. We spent a few more seconds there in the park watching them as they drove off. I could tell from the look on Alyssa's face that she felt just as apprehensive as me about letting them wander off on their own.

"Is it just me," She asked me quietly, "or do you get the sense of impending doom watching them go off alone?"

"Sense of impending doom," I echoed, "That sounds about right. Ever single time Prime goes off on his own something happens."

"Ditto for Angel it seems." She agreed, "So tell me this then?"

"What?"

"Why exactly do we keep letting them do the very thing that attracts disaster to them?"

"You want to try and tell those two hard heads that they can't do what they want when they want? Because I don't know about Angel, but I've tried with Optimus and it JUST doesn't work." I admitted dryly.

"Well I can definitely see that in him." She looked somber for a second and then started giggling, "And people sit around and wonder why those two wound up together."

"Kinda makes you wonder about normal people doesn't it?" I laughed back.

We had a good long laugh about all of that and then managed to some how get back onto the road. The truth was I was kind of glad that it was now just the two of us. Something in me was convinced that it would be easier if her relatives didn't have Prime glaring down their necks and Angel loosing her temper at them if they did decide to behave like Alyssa's other set of family had.

For her part, Alyssa made a point of enjoying our time alone and making the best of it that she possibly could. As we kept heading down that highway she made me laugh and wonder if maybe it were possible for things to actually go right for a change. It was impossible for me to not some how take part in all of that wonderful energy that was coming off of her.

Finally we pulled into the town where her Father's family made their home. I took one look at the place and realized that it pure and simple screamed TEXAS. It was rather charming actually, and it seemed like some where that would have good people in it. I remember that we had met her dad once before when he and her mother and step father had come to be introduced to all of us. The truth is, he was the only one out of the three that had even shown any kind of sign of being any thing other than completely and utterly hostile. Some how that had slipped my mind but now it offered me some comfort in getting ready to face this whole group.

Then just as I thought that, the stage fright hit me full force. Despite what I had been thinking less than a few seconds ago actually, I was now starting to feel like I would never be able to face any of them. NO matter how kind hearted or open minded they turned out to be. I guess its something that every mech has to go through in his life time one way or another. The whole meet the parents thing. Still I didn't want to do it and I couldn't for the life of me force my self to some how come around to wanting to.  
Thankfully noticed all of this and looked at my monitor her face full of sympathy.

"Awww Jack, if you're that up set we don't have to do any of this."

I took a deep breath and some how managed to steady my self, "No babe. I guess I just have a case of the jitters ya know? Everything has been so strange with your family; I think I'm afraid that this will turn out the same way."

"And I'm the one that talked you in to this, I really am sorry."

"Well don't be Alyssa," I sighed but kept driving around trying to put off the inevitable confrontation as long as possible, "Besides, if these are the people that you came from. Then they must have some good qualities. They managed to breed something as wonderful as you."

I watched her blush some over that and finally made up my mind to head off to see her family. Even if it turned out to be a complete and utter disaster, I knew that she wasn't going to just up and leave me. So I may as well face them now and see what happened. After all if it proved to her how much I cared, facing her family down, then every thing I did was worth it.


	6. Mi Vida Loca: Part 6

Mi Vida Loca: Part 6

We pulled up to her family's house and I continued to sit there for a few seconds longer trying to work up some guts. When the door burst open and a huge throng of people started pouring out of the thing. I recognized her father from the time I had met him before but every one else there was completely and utterly new to me.

"Well come on Jack. Let me out and transform so I can let you get to know all of these guys."  
I popped the door for her and she hopped out and grabbed her bags from my back seat. Several people moved in and helped her take the Kayaks down and then started demanding to know where this boy friend of hers was. I noticed her Father had a big grin on his face and that he full well knew where her boy friend was.

"Well if you'll wait for just a few seconds and give me some room I'll introduce you all to him." She beamed.

That moved the rest of her family back a considerable distance and then she turned around to face me. I wanted to sit there as an inconspicuous Lancia for the rest of my life rather than let these people start in on me. But I wasn't going to do that to her so as she grinned at me I triggered my transformation circuits.

"Allow me to introduce you to my Fiancée Wheeljack."

I finished transforming and then waved down at all of her family has they all gapped up at me.

"Uhhh hi." I said meekly.

I mentally turned on my transmat and a few seconds later I was human sized. Despite the size change they still stared at me like I had lobsters coming out of my audio ports. I was about to change back into a car and take off when it was like some one flipped a switch. Every single female there started over to me and began hugging me and kissing me on the cheek and telling me all about them selves. Alyssa was pretty much getting the same treatment from them as I was, she how ever seemed completely accustomed to it. The men in the family showed over and started slapping me on the back and telling me that I was a lucky man to have finally gotten "Stubborn Lil Alyssa" to agree to get married. Then the whole mess started to move into the house dragging the two of us with them.

I had a few seconds to get used to all of that when I realized that there were even more of them in the house. Once again a pack of human females descended on me and started hugging and kissing me yet again. I stood there a stiff as the proverbial post while all of them did this. I was about to try and go find Alyssa when an elderly lady that had been one of the first to accost me appeared and grabbed me by the arm.

"Now young man, what's your name again?" She asked.

"Wheeljack mam," I swallowed. "But you can call me Jack like Alyssa does."

"Well Jack, now I want you to tell me when you and my granddaughter are planning on getting married. Because you see it's my job to make sure that the girl does it right."

"mam?" I was at a loss this time.

"OH that she has a traditional southern wedding honey. And of course her colors have to be yellow and white. She's from Texas so she has to have yellow roses. All kinds of yellow roses and the rest of the decorations have to match all of that. You see?"

"Ummm…" She now had me and was dragging me deeper into the mass of people.

Several others were agreeing with her on the whole thing and telling me that it was imperative that she be allowed to plan this thing. That it was only right and proper and that of course it HAD to be traditional.

"Now you have to get that pretty lil brunette and her husband down here. She just HAS to be Alyssa's maid, oh wait she's married now isn't she?"

"Yes mam," I started, "to…"

"OH well then she can come and be her matron of honor. We have to get her sizes and get everything ready. OH yes!" She paused and clapped her hands together, "And the whole thing has to be in June. IF My lil granddaughter is going to have a wedding then it has to be in June."

I kept watching as this woman dragged me around the whole family get together and displayed me for various other family members. All the while telling every single one of them about how Alyssa and I were going to have a June wedding and how everything was going to be. Most of them were more than enthusiastic about it and yet again every single female that came near me had to hug and kiss on me for some strange reason. Either they were just very affectionate or I looked like I was in need of some attention.

Eventually every thing got settled down and I managed to locate Alyssa again.

"THERE you are!" I called.

"HEY baby!" She jumped up and kissed me on the cheek. "So what's up? Why'd you flinch when I kissed you?"  
"No offense sweetheart but do you have any idea…" I noticed she was about to start giggling. "WHAT?"  
"I see you got the treatment from all of my female relatives." She laughed. "Lemme guess every single one of them that came with in grabbing distance got hold of you?"

"Dose this happen to every one?" I asked.

"Every one who comes in contact with this family, yep!" She grinned. "Come on. Dinner's almost ready."

"Uhhh…. And exactly what am I supposed to do during dinner?" I asked.

"We brought some cubes for you, just eat one of those." She grinned.

I looked down the hall to where her grandmother was and the woman waved at me. I winced and looked back at Alyssa.  
"I think I just lost my appetite." I muttered.

"Oh no…"Alyssa trailed off, "Did Grandma give you the "Getting Married" treatment?"

"How'd ya know?"

"Oh she dose that to every one." Alyssa grabbed hold of me and tugged me out to where the cooking was going on at the grill. "Still she might have a point."

"Yah but Yellow? Do you really want yellow?" I griped.

"Well you're the one that fell in love with a "yellow rose of Texas" Your just going to have to accept it."

"Yellow rose?" I blinked at her.

She laughed again and kept going in the direction of the cook out, "I'll explain it to you some time later."

I looked up and wondered just how I was going to deal with all of this mess. Still I was happy to be accepted by her family and I was more than thrilled that they were going to let me stay in this remarkable girl's life. If putting up with a few eccentricities and a weird color of flower at our Lifemate ceremony was all it took then I could live with all of that. I was starting to think I could live with just about anything as long as it meant that I could live with her.


	7. Mi Vida Loca: Epilog

Mi Vida Loca: Epilog

We stayed at the place for two days and I got thoroughly introduced to every single person who was related to my girl in a 30 mile radius. Still It was nice to see all of them willing to support her choices and I was more than happy that she enjoyed her self there.

The most interesting thing that happened though was the first night we were there I was setting up on the aero bed waiting for Alyssa when her father showed up. He prompltly proceeded to tell me that he wasn't even sure that it was possible for anything to happen between me and his daughter, but just in case. She was in the guest room and I was there. Then he planted him self on the couch and informed me that HE was there to make sure that I didn't get any ideas about sneaking off my bed.

I didn't get a whole lot of sleep that night but I did manage to do a good job of earning the man's trust by showing him that I had no intentions of sneaking off to pull anything.

We eventually said good bye to every one and got ready to head back to the ark. Again there was a lot of hugging and kissing and every woman there had to let me know that they were happy for the two of us and couldn't wait until we tied the knot that summer. Alyssa stood there turning several shades of red but kept her mouth shut until it was all over and we were back out on the road and heading home.

"OH!" she stretched and leaned back in my seats. "I love my family but thank GOODNESS that whole thing is over with."

"Do you know what you Dad did to me?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. What can I say? It's a dad's prerogative I guess." She leaned back and let out another yawn. "Still it went well. Everyone liked you a lot."  
"Well good. I'm glad all the crisis have been averted."  
I should have known better than to say that. I Should have known to keep my yap shut and hope that nothing could go wrong. I should have known that it would never ever happen.

We had just settled down to enjoy the trip back when the com started beeping at us. Alyssa reached over and flipped it on to reveal an almost frantic Prowl on the other end of the thing.

"GUYS!" He almost yelled. "You NEED to get back to the ark NOW!"  
"What's wrong?" Alyssa demanded.

"It's Prime and Miss Angel. Their missing!"


	8. Author's Notes and Lyrics

Author's notes and Lyrics:

Well folks yet another one in the series done. Hope all of you out there liked this latest installment from Wheeljack's POV. The next one will be coming soon. So keep on the look out and see what I have in store. In the mean time, here are the lyrics to the song that inspired this one. Oh yah and one more thing...

LEGAL STUFF: NO I don't own the TF's I am only borrowing them for these fan fictions. Neither do I own any of the songs I use to inspire them. ALL of this stuff is purely for entertainment only. SO if big brother is reading this please don't sue me. (Not like yer gonna get much any how!)

That's all for now! Take care and enjoy the lyrics!

RP1

MI VIDA LOCA: By Pam Tillis

If you're coming with me

Ya need nerves of steel

Cus I take corners on two wheels

Well it's a never ending

Circus ride

Faint of Heart

Need not apply

Mi Vida Loca

Over and over

Destiny turns on a dime

I go where the wind blows

You can't tame a wild rose

Welcome to my crazy life

Sweetheart before

This night is through

I could fall

In love with you

Come dancing

On the edge with me

Let my passion

Set you free

Mi Vida Loca

Over and over

Destiny turns on a dime

I got where the wind blows

You can't tame a wild rose

Welcome to my crazy life

Here in the firelight

I see your tattoo

"Mi vida loca"

So you're crazy too?

Mi Vida Loca

Over and over

Destiny turns on a dime

I go where the wind blows

You can't tame a wild rose

Welcome to my crazy life!


End file.
